I’ve had to stay at home for several months because of the pandemic. I’m thankful to God that I’ve been able to work remotely and continue to support my family, but I feel depressed about my current work situation.
I feel like I’m inept in my everyday activities. I think that others see me as incompetent because I ask a lot of questions when I have doubts…. I’ve never been very sociable, and I’m even less so virtually.
I want to change jobs, but… working from home has turned out to be comfortable and convenient. However, I do want to make more money and feel good about myself…. Is it wrong to want to feel good about my work and be satisfied with it? Is it unreasonable to desire to grow as a person and wish that life wouldn’t rub my inabilities in my face? I know that life is unfair, but sometimes I’d just like to get my head above water and smile again.
Even those of us who are introverts need social interaction to keep from feeling isolated. Due to working alone for so long, it is to be expected that you are feeling depressed, frustrated, and disheartened. Many, many people can identify with those feelings.
To answer your first question, we can tell you that it is absolutely normal to want to feel satisfied and accomplished in your work. Nevertheless, we must add that a great number of people in the world have jobs that almost no one could feel satisfied with. Unfortunately, life is unfair, as you claim.
You also ask if it is unreasonable to want to grow as a person and feel more capable. No, these desires are actually positive. They can give you the motivation to study and further prepare yourself in your current field, or to learn a new skill. However, it is important to fully accept the fact that you, and you alone, are responsible for your personal growth.
Many people lament their inadequacies, but instead of doing something positive to learn and grow, they prefer to spend their time keeping a mental score of all those whom they feel are to blame for their lack of progress. It is easy to imagine that our parents didn’t give us the right environment, or that our teachers didn’t really care about us, or that our spouses are not supportive, or that our bosses overlook our potential. It is also always easy to blame our lack of financial resources.
For some people, it may seem impossible to get their desired academic degree, whether because of time, or distance, or financial resources. But in this age of mobile phones and online tutorials, it only takes self-discipline to learn. Motivated people study on the bus, through earphones while walking, or while other family members are watching television.
However, only God really knows what is best for your future. Only He knows what would make you smile again. If you invite Him into your life, He can give you the wisdom to know what to do about your job. And He will let you know that you are not alone.
We wish you well,