I live with a man who is much older than I am. We have been together for several years, but he doesn’t want to marry me. When I bring up the subject, he says, “No!” very emphatically.
Thank you for telling us your story. We believe that there are many women in your same situation who don’t know what to do. We don’t know whether or not you have children, but we are assuming that you don’t because you don’t mention any.
When you were a young girl, was this what you wanted for your life? Is this man the Prince Charming that you dreamed of? He doesn’t want to commit to you nor make you any promises, so it seems that he would not fit the profile of the man that you wished for. We think that you most likely dreamed of a man who would cherish you and do anything for you. And you probably wanted a man who would make you feel safe and protected. Instead, your boyfriend’s attitude is, “Be happy with what I am willing to give you, and stop complaining!”
No wonder you are disappointed! We won’t guess why this particular man is reluctant to marry, but many men are because they don’t want to be tied down to one woman. They want to leave their options open in case a more desirable woman comes along. Other men have secret past marriages that have not been terminated, so they cannot legally marry another woman. And others believe that marriage is an old-fashioned idea that doesn’t work anymore. They may change the marriage vows to say that they will commit to the marriage “until love is no longer present” or, like your boyfriend, they may decide to forego the vows altogether. If they don’t believe in God or the Scriptures, then they make up their own rules about morality.
There are various facets to your dilemma. There is the emotional aspect, which is what caused you to tell us your situation. There is the practical aspect, which means that while you are with this man, you will never find your Prince Charming. And there is the moral and spiritual aspect, which involves what God knows will give you a better life.
While you are in this situation, you will continue to be frustrated and disillusioned. But perhaps you are like many women who are afraid that they won’t find the right man, so they settle for the wrong one. However, most of those women live with same frustration and disillusionment that you are experiencing.
It’s not that marriage is perfect. Many people end their marriages more quickly than they began them. But marriage is good when both spouses take their vows seriously and love each another as much as they love themselves.
God loves you and has a better plan for your life. He doesn’t promise that everything will be perfect for you in the future, nor that you will find your Prince Charming. However, He does promise to be with you every step of the way if you will just trust Him and determine to do things His way. He can give you the wisdom and strength to walk away from your boyfriend and trust His divine guidance for the future.
Do it today!