I am a married woman without children. I am sterile. God has given me a good husband who is responsible, faithful, and loves me very much. I cry a lot and beg God to bless us with a child. I have been through a number of medical procedures, but nothing has worked. I have not given up hope that I will become a mother.
The pain you are feeling is evident in your message. We are so sorry for the loss of your dream. Unfortunately, there are millions of families that share the sense of emptiness that you are experiencing.
Let us tell you about several of our friends who found themselves in your situation. After years of disappointing medical procedures, they all chose to adopt. Though it can be a long and detailed process, adoption has very successfully filled their empty homes and hearts.
We adopted three children ourselves, one infant and two older children, ages ten and eleven. Why? Because there are millions of children without parents and we had a lot of love to give. God blessed us with a solid marriage and a happy life. Why wouldn’t we want to share that with children who, through no fault of their own, are left without their own families?
You can spend the rest of your life mourning children who might never be born. Or you can invest that energy into loving real live children who desperately need a home. Adopting infants can sometimes be very expensive, while adopting older children is usually subsidized by the social welfare system of your country. And the strict rules for qualifying to adopt infants normally do not apply to the adoption of older children.
God has blessed us a great deal, and we believe that it is partially because of what James the apostle says about the importance of taking care of orphans and widows.1 Bringing an orphan into your family and changing that orphan’s life forever will fill the emptiness in your home and, at the same time, will show that you want to please God.
But don’t just open your eyes to orphans; open them to children all around you. More than likely, there are children in your neighborhood who need somewhere to go after school, just as there are children whose parents are neglecting or mistreating them. Although you might not be able to make them part of your family, you certainly can meet needs in their lives that will alter their destiny. You may be able to help with school work, offer a hot meal, or provide a safe haven when there is no adult to care for them.
Is it risky to bring a stranger into your home? Absolutely! Can you get into problems that you would never anticipate? Most definitely! But remember that having a biological child involves much of the same risk. Biological children can bring physical, mental, or emotional handicaps. They can cause untold turmoil in any family. Just because they are biologically related to you does not insure that they will be like you, will listen to you, or will become the adults that you would want.
A needy child is waiting to receive the love you have to give,
Linda and Charles
1 Jm 1:27